Underestimating My Heart

Dear Laney,

When you decide to become a parent, you think you have a pretty good idea how much you're going to love your baby. And then, you meet your baby, and the love you have for her is so much bigger and stronger and deeper than you could have thought possible.

Sometimes, I look at you and I love you so much that I feel like my heart is walking around outside my body.

Love,

Mom

Meeting Granny Jack

Dear Laney,

I love you to death, but there were times in your first few months of life that you were more than two college-educated grown-ups could handle. When I needed a little extra help, I called your great grandmother and she hopped on a plane and high-tailed it to Missoula.

She played with you and helped you practice crawling and rolling over. And she cleaned our house and made us a freezer full of soup that your Dad and I lived on for months.

I remember when I was little, Granny Jack and I had a great time together. We colored and played "Let's Pretend" and one time I even remember us chasing each other around her backyard with water guns. She was one of the best parts of my childhood, and I know she'll be a highlight of yours, too.

By the way, here's a tip: If you ever want her to buy you something, tell her you need it "to get organized." She's been falling for that for ...oh... 33 years now.

Love,

Mom

Grandma Sue Gets Hitched!

Dear Laney,

Today, you attended the wedding of your Grandma Sue to Erik. It was a beautiful day, which you can't vouch for because you slept through almost all of it. I wore you in your pink wrap and carried you around as your dad and I put together the flowers and set the tables. You were a good sport.

We sat in the front row as they exchanged their vows. It was a heartwarming moment, and then...well, there's no way around it...you pooped. You were making sounds from inside that wrap like EEEERRRRRR and UUUUUUUUUHHHH and your dad and I kept looking around to see if anyone else was hearing it.

At the party, a nice lady friend of Erik's asked to hold you, and your Dad stood five feet away from her like he was your Secret Service agent. You're still so new and precious to us.

Love,

Mom

Your First Babysitters

Dear Laney,

For our first wedding anniversary, your dad and I decided that we were going to go out to dinner in Spokane. Your grandma Sue and great aunt Nancy (that's her standing next to your dad) said that they would love to play with you while we went to dinner.

I handed you over to your grandma, and I started crying...we hadn't been apart at all since you were born, and I felt so bad leaving you behind, even though it was only for two hours. I cried almost all the way to the restaurant - I felt like I had left an arm or a leg behind.

I think you and Sue and Nancy had a great time - Nancy already knew about your favorite book (TEN IN A BED) and they took turns holding you.

Your dad and I had a great dinner, but mostly we talked about you. I'm sure there will be thousands of times in the future that we go our different ways, but I think I'll always remember that first time as the hardest.

Love,

Mom

Meeting Peg Peg and Tex

Dear Laney,

Your grandparents Peg Peg and Tex came to visit this week. We weren't planning on seeing them 'til Christmas, but your grandmother saw your pictures and decided she had to get her hands on you.

Your grandmother picked you up at the airport and didn't set you down the whole time she was here. From the pictures, it looks like Tex got to hold you once, but I can only assume it's because Peg Peg had to go to the bathroom. I'm sure he didn't get a very long turn.

I have a feeling you're really going to help your Florida grandparents rack up some frequent flier miles.

Love,

Mom

Your Missouri Grandparents

Dear Laney,

When you were two weeks old, we had a visit from your grandparents Joe and CC - they came all the way from Missouri to see you.

They had a great time holding you and feeding you and hanging out with you, and while they were here, they bought you a SWING. Yes, the great love of your life, the swing. It has six speed settings, from "barely moving" to "baby catapult," and you can set it to play the worst noise I've ever heard and you LOVE IT. Sometimes, I put your swing in the kitchen while I'm cooking, and I pretend to be Paula Deen. You seem to like this - it's like you have your own personal Food Network. That swing was the greatest baby gift EVER.

Anyway, back to Joe and CC...

While they were here, your grandpa Joe helped your dad build his wood shop. Nate came over and helped with the roof, and it was really impressive seeing three Burbach boys tackle a project together. Your grandma CC held you so I could take a much-needed shower. The only person we were missing was your uncle Joey, but he's away at college doing whatever boys do when they're in a fraternity.

I put you in a dress one day while they were here, and I said "You must be the prettiest baby in Alberton." And your grandpa Joe said "NO! She's the prettiest baby in THE WORLD." So there you have it - it's official.

Love,

Mom

The Hottest Spot In Town

Dear Laney,

I don't remember much about your first week at home, because your dad and I were so tired. I mean TIRED. You didn't sleep more than a few hours at a time, and then when you WERE sleeping, I was so nervous that I had to keep checking on you. I was worried that you might be too hot, or too cold, and I kept touching you to be sure you were breathing okay. We all wore our pajamas all week long.

One night, your dad decided tucked you under his arm and you both slept just fine.

Your dad would probably would hate it if he knew I put this picture on the internet, but since he'll never get around to reading this blog, it can be our little secret.

Love,

Mom

Your First Friend

Dear Laney -

My friend Virginia had a baby girl a few weeks before you arrived, and named her Mollie. Virginia and Mollie came to visit us in the hospital, and we took a picture of the two of you hanging out - I hope you grow up to be good friends, and to have more fun than it looks like you're having in this picture.

Love,

Mom

Little Miss Popular

Dear Laney,

It's amazing how many people love you so much already.

Your Aunt Brynn was there to see your birth, and then your Uncle Nate and Grandma Sue got to meet you right away. Everyone thought you were beautiful, and couldn't wait to hold you. They came to visit you every day in the hospital, and your Grandma Sue brought your mom decent food to eat and clean underwear to wear home. Grandma Sue also bought your mom a bathrobe - it's the one your dad loves to wear all the time, even though it's a girls' robe and only comes down to his knees.

Peg Peg and Tex called and sent beautiful flowers and I'm sure they hated that they couldn't be there in person.

You've definitely been surrounded by love your first few days on this Earth, and we aim to keep it that way.

Love,

Mom

You and Your Dad

Dear Laney,

You've only been around for a day, but you and your dad seem to enjoy hanging out together. He says that the two of you will talk when you have something to say to each other, but in the meantime you seem to enjoy staring at each other with serious expressions. I guess you both have a lot to think about.

Love,

Mom

Your First Bath

Dear Laney,

This is a picture of your dad giving you your first bath.

I can't believe you were able to fit into that little pink bucket.

Love,

Mom

Sitting Pretty

Dear Beautiful Girl,

One day, you'll probably hate me for letting other people see these photos.

But in the meantime, we think they're pretty funny.

Love,

Mom

The scariest, longest, HAPPIEST day ever!

Dear Laney,

We woke up on August 24th, and you still weren't here. Our wonderful midwife Jeanne came over and spent the day with us at Nate and Brynn's. We tried everything we could think of to convince you to come out, but you just didn't want to budge. I guess you were happy right where you were.

At 8pm, we decided that we needed to go to the hospital - maybe THEY could talk you into making your grand entrance. We met with Dr Braak, who told us that you might be bigger than we thought you were. We all started making guesses at how big you were going to be. Dr Braak guessed ten pounds. We had the nicest nurses you can imagine, and they helped your mom get ready for surgery. Your Aunt Brynn was there, and since she's a nurse, she got to come with us. We walked down to the operating room to get ready to bring you into the world.

Your dad came in and looked so handsome in his scrubs. He held my hand while I laid on the table. This wasn't at all how we thought your birth would be, but it didn't matter. All that we cared about was that you were safe and healthy and almost here!

But you STILL didn't want to come out. I heard Dr Braak say "Work with me, kid!" Then, at 10:41pm, she lifted you out of me and held you up for me to see. Your face was a little smushed up - you had had a VERY hard day, and you had a full head of VERY dark hair.

The nurses took you over to the scale to be weighed and I heard them say "Oh...my...GOD!" It turns out you were a little over 11 pounds. Then you started to cry and we knew you were going to be okay.

Your dad and I got to hold you for a little while, and I think we were both in shock - we couldn't believe that we were finally parents, and that we were going to be responsible for this little person. Your dad had tears in his eyes, and he just kept whispering "You're so awesome. You're so awesome."

We all slept together in the hospital room - our first night as a family.

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl!

Love,

Mom

August 23 - A Surprise on The Way...

Dear Laney,

Your grandfather Philip told me that he's always had a weird feeling about August 23rd, and every time that date would roll around on the calendar, he would get this sneaking suspicion that something should be happening.

On August 23, 2009, your dad and I went out to dinner at Outback Steakhouse with your Uncle Nate and Aunt Brynn. We were planning on having you at their house, with the help of a midwife. You were supposed to come on August 12th, but you were late, and we were starting to wonder if you were ever going to come out.

After dinner, we stopped by our midwife's office for another check-up, to see if you were any closer to making an appearance. Right there in her office, I went into labor. We drove over to Nate and Brynn's house, ecstatic that we were about to have a baby.

We watched some TV, and then I got on my pajamas and got into bed, but I couldn't sleep because I was so nervous and excited (and because I was having contractions).

But you decided you didn't want to be born on the 23rd, so we'll have to continue this story tomorrow...

Love,

Mom

How To Upset Your Grandmother

Dear Laney,

You were due to arrive on August 12th, but you were growing so fast that we all thought you'd be here any minute. So, Peg Peg and Tex came here on the first of August so they could be sure that they would be here for your birth.

And we all waited...and waited...and waited...but you just weren't ready to come out. We walked a lot every day, thinking that would hurry you up. One afternoon, we went to Macy's and the saleslady said "OOoh, you better not have that baby in here!" And your grandmother said "She can have that baby anywhere she wants! That's why you have housekeeping staff!"

Every time we would drive down the interstate, we would pass a billboard for Community Hospital with a big picture of a newborn baby. Finally, your grandmother said, "I'm so sick of looking at that baby. Where's OUR baby?"

Three weeks passed and your grandmother had no choice but to go home to Florida. She waited as long as she could, but I guess you just weren't ready. I understand that everything happens in its own time, but your grandmother will probably hold this over you forever.

Love,

Mom