A Thousand Words

Dear Laney,

I like this picture so much, I think it deserves its own post.

That is all.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Thanks for looking at me like this - it makes me feel like a million bucks.

Sunday in the Park With Laney

Dear Laney,

Your dad was grumpy today because he had to work on his thesis; it's probably hard trying to save the world one rare plant at a time. You and I decided to give him some peace and quiet to study, and we headed on down to the Frenchtown Pond . We sat on a blanket and watched the big(ger) kids play on the playground, then we took a walk all the way around the pond.

We met a little girl who had just started kindergarten this year, but had already been to see the Principal six times. This is not the kind of accomplishment one should tell strangers about.

Now we're home from our awesome day outdoors, and it's time to bake a chicken and watch the Oscars. I've had SUCH a good time hanging out with you this weekend.

Love,

Mom

Psychic Mom Predictions

Dear Laney,

I know it's ridiculous to even try to imagine what you'll be when you grow up, since you're only 6.2 months old, but who cares...it's great fun.

So here's my prediction for the future (drumroll, please).

You will be a left-handed engineer.

I base this on a few observations:

Whenever you think I'm not doing something correctly (feeding you fast enough, playing with the toy the right way), you take the object away from me with your left hand.

When you were teeny tiny, we'd put you in your swing, and instead of looking at the bright! pink! fun! mobile, you preferred to stare at the warning label, as if you were trying to decide if the big hairy man they call "Dad" had assembled the thing properly.

Now, you have graduated to the Jumperoo.

Instead of "playing" with all the bells and whistles on the Jumperoo, you seem to be moving methodically in a circle, making sure everything's in working order.

Monkey? Check.

Pop-up tiger? Check.

Twirly ball with colored beads? Needs work. Contact maintenance.

I think it's safe to say that you get most of this studious behavior from your dad, since your mom is the one who took a picture of herself with a pink towel around her head to post on the internet.

Anyhoo, it's just a guess, and we'd be just as proud of you if you became a right-handed tap dancer or an ambidextrous sheep herder.

Love,

Mom

P.S. If anyone else wants to hazard a guess, you're welcome to leave it in the Comments.

Fun Little Experiments

Dear Laney,

Sometimes I find myself conducting fun little experiments with you, because I have to entertain my scientific curiosity with questions like, "As long as I'm folding these dishtowels, I wonder how long Laney would wear one on her head?"

Answer: approx. 20 minutes.

Now we know.

Love,

Mom

The Love Affair Continues

Dear Laney,

Your love for the remote control was getting out of hand (also, it was inconvenient that every time someone was about to say something interesting on television, you would hit the "Mute" button), so I came up with a solution: I took the extra remote that the cable company gave us, removed the batteries, washed the heck out of it, and gave it to you.

Best. Present. Ever.

I have a feeling that if you were 16 and we gave you a new car, you would pretty much have this same look on your face. But I assume you wouldn't be running around topless.

Let's hope.

Love,

Mom

Summer Fashion Preview

Dear Laney,

This summer, the world's most beautiful girl will be sporting a Little Mermaid bathing suit from Costco in a size 2T with matching aqua cover-up.

So sporty!

So slimming!

The perfect ensemble for any occasion - from hunting for your pacifier...to bouncing in your Jumperoo...to squealing at Alex Trebek. What can't this bathing suit do?

Love,

Mom

Our One Thousand Hit Wonder

Dear Laney,

As of yesterday, this little blog of yours has received a thousand hits. Probably 900 of them are from your grandparents, but still....it's a nice achievement. We should also thank Clay Mercer of Vienna, Georgia, who reads this blog every day, even though he is in no way related to you. Also, whoever that is in South Africa who checks out "Letters to Laney" from time to time. And according to our blog stats, you're extremely popular in eastern Montana. Who knew? You might be just a tiny corner of the blog universe, but in our house, you're bigger than "American Idol."

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Dad

Dear Laney,

Tonight, Uncle Nate and Aunt Brynn came over for your dad's birthday dinner. Nate fed you sweet potatoes, and you fell asleep before dessert was served. Dad says his birthday was awesome and he was so glad you were here for the party.

Love,

Mom

Happy Pre-Birthday, Dad!

Dear Laney,

It's your dad's birthday weekend, so to celebrate we went skiing today over at Lookout Pass. Your Grandma Sue met us there, and the two of you hung out in the lodge all afternoon while your parents skied.

Your dad shot a little video on one of our runs:

click here

Obviously, he is a MUCH better skier than I am, since he's able to work a video camera while speeding downhill.

Happy early birthday to a terrific skier, a super dad, a great husband, a capable cameraman and a negligent blog reader.

Love,

Mom

Don't Make Me Angry. You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry.

Dear Laney,

It's your dad's birthday this weekend, so we went into town today to pick up some groceries for his special dinner. After hitting Costco and Safeway (where something in the frozen food section sparked your fancy and you started SHRIEKING), we met Dad for lunch at the Cracker Barrel.

Your dad and I had the fried fish, and then tried to feed you pureed apricots. No way around it, this made you MAD. I let you hold a french fry, but that made you EVEN MORE ANGRY. It was like that moment when Bruce Banner decides he can't take it any more and morphs into the Incredible Hulk....because at that exact moment, you finally realized YOU DON'T HAVE TEETH.

AARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG!!

After all the shopping and eating and toothless injustice, you deserved a nap.

Love,

Mom

No Animals or Babies Were Harmed In The Making Of This Movie

Dear Laney,

Apparently, you are not only my daughter, you are also Ella's puppy.

click here

Yesterday, I was looking at you sitting up on your blanket, and I thought "Gosh, Laney is sitting up so straight! That's amazing!" Then, I leaned over and realized that you had grabbed a handful of Ella's hair and were using it to hold yourself up. And she didn't seem to mind.

Boy, she loves you. The rest of us, she just tolerates.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Yes, I washed your face after.

What's Up, Doc?

Dear Laney,

Today, we went into town for your 6 month appointment with Dr. Hoover.

You were 27 inches long (90th percentile) and 21.5 pounds (98th percentile). Dr. Hoover says that when you start walking, you'll be "a string bean." She's met both your father and me, so she should know what a genetic miracle that would be.

When she put her stethoscope on your chest to listen to your heart, you grabbed it and put it in your mouth. I'm sure it's helpful that she knows what your tongue sounds like.

At the end of the appointment, you were declared to be 100% healthy and advanced on all your motor skills. Bravo.

Love,

Mom

Happy Half Birthday

Dear Laney,

Today, you turn 6 months old.

In just half a year, you've expanded my heart, made my left arm freakishly strong, and made it necessary for me to wash sweet potatoes out of my hair.

Someone once said that the life of a parent is made up of the longest days and the shortest years. So true. The past 6 months have flown by in a haze of love and diapers, squeals and pouts, stories and naps... Using a little basic math, we can estimate that you have been fed 1,080 times. I will mention this the next time someone asks me why I haven't written the Great American Novel.

I can't remember what life was like before you came...I'm just awfully glad you showed up.

Love,

Mom

Photography 101

Dear Laney,

Today, you got your hands on the camera and managed to take this picture all by yourself...right before you put the camera in your mouth and I had to take it away from you.

Overall, I think the photograph shows excellent composition, and very advanced technique; I'm sure Annie Leibovitz licks all of her lenses, too.

Love,

Mom

A Weekly Round-Up

Dear Laney,

Here are some misc. highlights from the past few days:

Today, we read PAJAMA TIME, which is your favorite book, about five times. I know it's your favorite book, because every time I start to read it, you start to squeal. I have now memorized the book and can simply recite it while you gum the pages. Everybody wins. I tried to transition over to BARNYARD DANCE today, but you're just not that excited about square-dancing pigs.

Your dad and I have noticed - thanks to the Olympics - that when I start to sing "The Star Spangled Banner," you start to moan. I don't know if you're singing along, or just trying to communicate "Moooommmm, pleeease stooooooooppp." I can't wait 'til you can add eye-rolling to your repertoire.

For lunch today, you had pureed pumpkin, which almost made your dad's head explode with the creative potential for "Pumpkin eating pumpkin" jokes/songs/comments.

This weekend, Gus tried to lick you and you grabbed his tongue. And held on. He just sighed and sat there, like "You got me." Gus is not very bright, so try not to take advantage of him. Also: It is moves like this that are the reason I have to wash your hands 20 times a day.

You had a weird angry rash this week. I researched it, diagnosed it, and whipped up a remedy. Today, the rash is almost gone. I feel like I cured polio.

Love,

Mom