James Brown School of Crawling

Dear Laney,

While we might question your technique, we can't question your enthusiasm.

Love,

Mom

Wild Kingdom

Dear Laney,

Your new favorite thing to do is sit by the back door and stare at Gus while he stands on the other side of the door, staring back. You both spend a lot of time wishing you could get together and drool on something. Yesterday, he tried to lick you, and you grabbed his lip and held on until I pried your fingers off. It's probably a good thing we got Gus at a chihuahua rescue, and he thinks you're bigger than he is.

Anyway, you like to keep track of what the dogs are doing at all times - you're like Dian Fossey and the mountain gorillas.

Precious.

Love,

Mom

I Love LA(-ney)

Dear Laney,

It has been suggested by one of your pushier grandparents that I need to quit working and get back to blogging. I don't want to name names, but he lives in Georgia and deals in antiques.

So...much has happened since my last post.

I spent a weekend of my life in Los Angeles, producing a music video with these yahoos:

While I was gone, your dad did a great job of keeping you all by himself. In fact, he was almost too good. There's this great episode of "The Andy Griffith Show" where Aunt Bee goes out of town and Andy and Opie are left home alone. When she gets back, she sees that they kept the house clean and got along fine without her, so she starts crying because she thinks they don't need her. Andy makes Opie go in the kitchen and make a huge mess so Bee will think she's needed. I'm not quit as sensitive as Aunt Bee, but it wouldn't have hurt your dad to be a little messier.

Apparently while I was gone, everyone your dad is related to called to check on him - we had 15 new calls on our phone when I got back. It's nice to know everyone cares so much about you. Your dad says you guys did all sorts of fun things this weekend - for example, you got to sit in the Baby Jogger and watch him chop firewood. He says you got a kick out of it, but I would have to see it to believe it.

It was nice to go back to work on Monday with my favorite co-worker:

Yesterday, we went into town to get the new tire put on the car. While you were sitting in your stroller at the Subaru place, you reached down and yanked off both of your socks and stuffed them in your mouth. THAT'S definitely something new you picked up while I was gone. I hope it wasn't something you saw your dad do.

Love,

Mom

Waiting For My Meeting To Start

Love,

Mom

P.S. I talked to your dad this morning. He says you slept great, but that when you came downstairs this morning, you were looking around for me. I'm coming home soon - I promise!!!

Can You IMAGINE?

Dear Laney,

Every once in a while, (usually for about 10 minutes around 6pm) I find that being a mother to a six month old is completely overwhelming.

The other day, you and I were playing around with the photo settings on my webcam, and created this image. As soon as I saw it, it gave me heart palpitations. Next time I think you're more than I can handle, I'm going to think about this photo and how easy I have it (comparatively).

Love,

Mom

P.S. This was the same day we decided to try on some of your barrettes:

You don't seem to like the overall effect. Maybe you agree with your grandmother Peg Peg who's always telling me that I need to keep proportion in mind when it comes to your hair accessories (which is her nice way of saying when I put small bows in your hair, it makes your head look big). She's always pushing for a BIG BOW.

Or maybe you just don't like that I took the pink one.

Hooray for Alberrrtonnn...

Dear Laney,

I hate to tell you this, but I have to go back to Los Angeles for just a few days for work. For the first time, you and your dad will be spending a weekend alone. I am trying to pretend like I'm not worried.

Your dad says that he'll be a guest blogger on "Letters To Laney" while I'm gone, but we'll see...

Love,
Mom

The Big Questions

Dear Laney,

You seem to have a lot on your mind today. I'm sure you spend a lot of time pondering things like, "Why do my gums hurt all the time?" "Why doesn't Mom let me chew on my books instead of read them?" "Why do they insist on changing my diaper when it's perfectly FINE how it is?" "I only see 49 toys down here. Where are the rest of them? You know, the cool ones?" and "Why do I have to take a nap when I'm so obviously NOT TIRED??? DID YOU HEAR ME PEOPLE???!!!?? I'M NOT TI - Zzzzzz..."

Love,

Mom

Lesson #3 - The Less You Want To Learn Something, The More You Probably Need To Know It.

Dear Laney,

Yesterday, I loaded you up in the new car and headed into town because we were going to go to our first swim class. I was so excited to get you out in public in your bathing suit.

As we got halfway down Petty Creek Road, the Tire Alert light came on in our car. I pulled over to the side of the road and sure enough - we had a flat. We were four miles from home and seven miles to town, and it's not like Petty Creek gets a lot of traffic. And I don't need to tell you that we don't have cell service in Alberton, because your baby ears have already heard me complain enough about THAT telecommunications nightmare.

So, I got out of the car - in my Crocs - walked around the car in the mud, and changed the tire. I rolled down the back window so I could talk to you in your car seat the whole time I was doing it. What I hoped you were learning from this process was that women can do anything, there's no sense in panicking, and it's always good to be prepared for anything.

What I learned from this experience was that these ain't tire-changin' shoes:

On the way back home, I thought about how lucky I was that Tex had taught me to change a tire back when I was in high school. He also taught me how to drive a stick shift, which has saved my butt on numerous occasions. When we were safely home, I called Tex to thank him for that automotive safety lesson almost 20 years ago. I thought it would be a touching phone call, one parent to another...but he said "What's WRONG with your TIRE? That car is NEW!" etc. etc. So much for the Hallmark moment.

The lesson here is that when your dad starts demonstrating all of his crazy survival skills, you should maybe pay attention, because you just never know.

I do know I was proud of us yesterday.

Love,

Mom

A Thousand Words

Dear Laney,

I like this picture so much, I think it deserves its own post.

That is all.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Thanks for looking at me like this - it makes me feel like a million bucks.

Sunday in the Park With Laney

Dear Laney,

Your dad was grumpy today because he had to work on his thesis; it's probably hard trying to save the world one rare plant at a time. You and I decided to give him some peace and quiet to study, and we headed on down to the Frenchtown Pond . We sat on a blanket and watched the big(ger) kids play on the playground, then we took a walk all the way around the pond.

We met a little girl who had just started kindergarten this year, but had already been to see the Principal six times. This is not the kind of accomplishment one should tell strangers about.

Now we're home from our awesome day outdoors, and it's time to bake a chicken and watch the Oscars. I've had SUCH a good time hanging out with you this weekend.

Love,

Mom

Psychic Mom Predictions

Dear Laney,

I know it's ridiculous to even try to imagine what you'll be when you grow up, since you're only 6.2 months old, but who cares...it's great fun.

So here's my prediction for the future (drumroll, please).

You will be a left-handed engineer.

I base this on a few observations:

Whenever you think I'm not doing something correctly (feeding you fast enough, playing with the toy the right way), you take the object away from me with your left hand.

When you were teeny tiny, we'd put you in your swing, and instead of looking at the bright! pink! fun! mobile, you preferred to stare at the warning label, as if you were trying to decide if the big hairy man they call "Dad" had assembled the thing properly.

Now, you have graduated to the Jumperoo.

Instead of "playing" with all the bells and whistles on the Jumperoo, you seem to be moving methodically in a circle, making sure everything's in working order.

Monkey? Check.

Pop-up tiger? Check.

Twirly ball with colored beads? Needs work. Contact maintenance.

I think it's safe to say that you get most of this studious behavior from your dad, since your mom is the one who took a picture of herself with a pink towel around her head to post on the internet.

Anyhoo, it's just a guess, and we'd be just as proud of you if you became a right-handed tap dancer or an ambidextrous sheep herder.

Love,

Mom

P.S. If anyone else wants to hazard a guess, you're welcome to leave it in the Comments.

Fun Little Experiments

Dear Laney,

Sometimes I find myself conducting fun little experiments with you, because I have to entertain my scientific curiosity with questions like, "As long as I'm folding these dishtowels, I wonder how long Laney would wear one on her head?"

Answer: approx. 20 minutes.

Now we know.

Love,

Mom

The Love Affair Continues

Dear Laney,

Your love for the remote control was getting out of hand (also, it was inconvenient that every time someone was about to say something interesting on television, you would hit the "Mute" button), so I came up with a solution: I took the extra remote that the cable company gave us, removed the batteries, washed the heck out of it, and gave it to you.

Best. Present. Ever.

I have a feeling that if you were 16 and we gave you a new car, you would pretty much have this same look on your face. But I assume you wouldn't be running around topless.

Let's hope.

Love,

Mom

Summer Fashion Preview

Dear Laney,

This summer, the world's most beautiful girl will be sporting a Little Mermaid bathing suit from Costco in a size 2T with matching aqua cover-up.

So sporty!

So slimming!

The perfect ensemble for any occasion - from hunting for your pacifier...to bouncing in your Jumperoo...to squealing at Alex Trebek. What can't this bathing suit do?

Love,

Mom

Our One Thousand Hit Wonder

Dear Laney,

As of yesterday, this little blog of yours has received a thousand hits. Probably 900 of them are from your grandparents, but still....it's a nice achievement. We should also thank Clay Mercer of Vienna, Georgia, who reads this blog every day, even though he is in no way related to you. Also, whoever that is in South Africa who checks out "Letters to Laney" from time to time. And according to our blog stats, you're extremely popular in eastern Montana. Who knew? You might be just a tiny corner of the blog universe, but in our house, you're bigger than "American Idol."

Love,

Mom