The Babysitter

Dear Laney,

A few weeks ago, I splurged and bought a robot vacuum cleaner. You press that one little Power button in the middle, and it cruises around the house like R2-D2, cleaning the whole floor. Your dad says the only thing it's missing is a little robot voice that says "Thor...the...floors...are...clean."

The other day, I sat you down in your crib so that I could put the iRobot on the floor in your room and get it started. As it spun around the room, you watched it with such pure concentration it was like you were watching the final laps at Talladega. In fact, you were so mesmerized that I closed the door to your room and came downstairs and left the two of you alone.

Half an hour later, I went up to check on you, and you had fallen asleep sitting up with your head resting against your crib rails.

I tell you - if that little robot didn't pick up a single speck of dust, and all it did was entertain you for 30-minute intervals and lull you to sleep, it would have been worth the purchase price.

Love,

Mom

Humoring Dad

Dear Laney,

We went shopping today and I bought you a set of wooden blocks. I figured they would be $7 worth of fun. The end. What I didn't expect was that when I pulled them out of the bag when we got home, your dad would light up like it was his birthday and he had just been given the best gift he could have hoped for.

Now you and your dad are on the floor playing together... he's building block towers and you're trying to see if you can fit a whole block in your mouth. Best $7 purchase ever.

Update: Now your dad has turned all of the blocks so that their number sides are facing up, and he's pointing out the prime numbers. I'm sorry.

Love,

Mom

Checkpoint Gus

Dear Laney,

You hung out with me in the yard today while I planted the last of the tomatoes in the greenhouse. You also tried a strawberry today for the first time, and liked it so much that you savored it for about 20 minutes. I swear that strawberry was the hardest-working berry in fruit business.

Also, you and Gus spent a lot of time staring longingly at each other from opposite sides of the new fence. It was like the morning the Germans woke up to discover there was a border dividing East and West. Or maybe that's too heavy a comparison for a baby blog.

Your bottom tooth is going to make an appearance any day. Times they are a-testy.

Love,

Mom

A Sneak Peek

Dear Laney,

Here's a picture from our photo shoot yesterday:

Love,

Mom

You Want Me To WHAT?

Dear Laney,

You and Dad worked a little more on your crawling tonight. It's crazy - you have no interest in going forward. When it comes to pushing yourself across the floor backwards, you are greased lightning. You're also able to do some moves I haven't seen this side of Cirque Du Soleil. I mean, seriously - check out the toes on that last picture.

Footage here.

In other news today, Virginia and Mollie and Meghan and Jace all came over to play and to take some great pictures that we'll be sharing soon. You and Mollie were precious together as always. These days, Mollie is to crawling what Kenyans are to a marathon - unstoppable.

Your dad and I took you into town tonight for dinner at Outback, where you tried the sweet potato fries, the brown bread, the steamed carrots, a little salmon and then your first taste of ice cream. You thought the ice cream was cold but AWESOME. Then, you found another little piece of salmon on your plate, which compared to the ice cream was neither cold NOR awesome. But the look on your face when you accidentally chased a bite of vanilla with a bite of grilled fish was priceless: the perfect blend of confused, shocked and hostile.

We saw Uncle Nate and Aunt Brynn for a few minutes at the restaurant, which was fun.

It was a pretty huge day that involved several costume changes and half an army of people shouting LOOK AT THE CAMERA!!, and you didn't cry once. Bravo!

Love,

Mom

Home Improvement, the Laney Way

Dear Laney,

Today, your dad and I cleaned out the greenhouse, then your Dad built me some planting beds while I shoveled dirt. It was very serious business.

I'm not sure what your contribution was to the project, but I do know I wish I had been on THAT committee. You know... the playing, napping, squealing and trying to eat grass committee.

Love,

Mom

Blink, And You'll Miss It

Dear Laney,

You know what's amazing? We took this photo exactly six months ago:

And we took this photo today:

Wow. In just six months, you've started to look like a grown up. At this rate, you'll be driving and voting in (what seems like) a year and a half. Remember to keep your hands at ten and two and vote for the candidate, not the party.

Love,

Mom

One of THOSE Days

It's just ten a.m.

And I've already cried.

The weather's so gloomy

We can't go outside

Mom gave me a bath

And made me change clothes

But if I have to wear socks

I can't suck my toes!

This is one of those days

Every toy's out of reach.

I don't WANT bananas,

I wanted A PEACH!

Nap time? No thank you.

I'm an unhappy camper.

You will be, too

Once you check this Pamper.

Just 20 more years

Til I get my hands on a beer-i-o,

Until then I'll make do

With a fistful of Cheerios.

Pioneer Baby

Dear Laney,

When your dad got home this afternoon, he took you off on a firewood-gathering adventure. He talked to you about where to find it and how to chop it, and you got to hold his shirt, which you seemed to think was pretty cool. When you guys had gathered a full load, you celebrated with a living room picnic of pears and organic mac n' cheese - just like Montana's original homesteaders (sorta).

Love,

Mom

Today's Lunch Menu: Mac n' Cheese

Your First Easter

Dear Laney,

We had such a nice Easter weekend. Grandma Sue and Erik came over on Saturday night and babysat you so your dad and I could go out on a date. Your dad and I went to dinner and laughed and had a fabulous time... and if the Blue Canyon Restaurant is still open when you are old enough to read this, I will take you there for their Lobster Mac And Cheese.

On Sunday, your Grandma Sue and I made lunch (ham, sweet potato casserole, deviled eggs, and some peas and beans that Granny Jack carried with her on a plane all the way from Alabama on her last visit).

Erik helped your dad build our new fence in our backyard while you "supervised."

It was a great day and the only thing more beautiful than the weather was you.

Love,

Mom

P.S. It's hard to believe it's only been a year since this.

Letter To The Editor

Dear American Baby Magazine,

While I find some of your articles entertaining and enlightening, and you certainly appeal to my demographic...

Occasionally, I think you miss the mark entirely:

Also, please consider printing your publication on edible banana-favored paper.

That is all.

Love,

Laney Burbach

Virtual Peg-Peg

Dear Laney,

Every day, we fire up the webcam so we can chat with your grandmother in Florida. It's hard to tell who's more excited - you, or her.

Recently, you've learned that by banging on the keyboard, you have the power to hang up on your grandmother and/or mute her. My favorite part of our chats is when I get to watch her gesturing wildly while mouthing "WHY AM I ON MUTE?" I also enjoy when you start crawling toward the keyboard and she yells "DON'T HANG UP ON ME!"

It's the little things.

Love,

Mom

Hoppy Easter Weekend, Everybunny!

Love,

Mom

The Angriest Flower In The Garden

Dear Laney,

Today, you are in A MOOD. I'm sure it has something to do with teething, a little to do with being congested and a lot to do with having a mom who insists on putting funny things on your head.

In other news, you have added a new "I'm Not Happy" noise to the Laney Burbach Sound Library. It's a lot like the sound you would hear if you stuck a fork in a cat. Which you should never do, of course. This new sound is so unpleasant that your dad and I could save money on acetone by letting that noise peel the paint off the furniture.

Still love ya, though.

Love,

Mom