Happy Grandparents' Day

Dear Laney,

Today is Grandparents' Day. You can totally blame it on me that you forgot, because I didn't even know such a holiday existed until I noticed it on the pre-printed calendar hanging on our fridge.

I suspect this is one of those bogus holidays concocted by the greeting card industry, like Veterans Day (just kidding, Tex). Still, it gives us a chance to pause and give thanks for all of your grandparents (both the regular kind and the "Great-").

Without this Team of Ten, I'm not sure we would have made it through this first year, so I want to be sure to thank them for all of the clothes, toys, support, phone calls, visits and "No, really, you're a good mom" e-mails.

You spent a good chunk of this "holiday" outside on the slide. In fact, I suspect that "slide," will be your next word. Here's what I want you to explain to me: You're a baby who refuses to walk, as if it's against your religion. Every time we haul you up on your feet and clap and suggest, "Walk to me!!" you look at us like you're a devout Mormon, and we're trying to force a rum n' Coke on you - like, "No! No! I mustn't! If I walk, I won't make it into God's V.I.P room!"

And yet...you can crawl to the slide, climb onto the slide, climb all the way up the slide, and you can turn around and actually slide, all by yourself. Wouldn't walking be...I don't know...easier?

Where was I? Ah, yes. Happy Grandparents' Day!

Love,

Mom

P.S. Yes, I know, you still have that dang pacifier. We're working on it.

Laney's Family Tree

Dear Laney,

We got a request today from our most high maintenance reader, Clay Mercer of Vienna, GA, for a family tree. Like the TV series "Dallas," it seems this blog has too many characters for him to keep straight. Leave it to a Southerner to want to know who your people are.

Side story: Once, when I was in high school, I went into the Vienna Piggly Wiggly, and the cashier, who didn't recognize me, asked, "Who do you belong to?"

This is actually a good project for me to tackle, because you should definitely know where you came from, and who you belong to. So here's my rough draft of Laney's family tree (clicking on it makes it larger).

I leave it to the grandparents and great-grandparents to tell me who I may have missed, whose name is misspelled, etc.

Per Clay's request, I have highlighted in yellow the family members who have been pictured on this blog.

Hope this clears things up for everyone.

Love,

Mom

Goodbye, Grandpops and Grandma CC

Dear Laney,

This morning, your grandparents got up and started packing for their trip back to Missouri. During their visit, you learned how to open and close a soda bottle, how to cover your mouth when you yawn, how to demand that the overhead light in the car be turned off and on, and how to generally get what you want 100% of the time. After all, why walk when you can be carried and point in the direction you'd like to travel? Cleopatra never had it so good; she probably had to use full words, and you just have to grunt.

We're certainly going to miss them, and we were very sorry to have to take them to the airport this afternoon.

Of course, one plus of going to the airport was that you got to hang out with Uncle Nate. In a bar. Next to the slot machines.

Okay, stop me if you've heard this one...

After we saw them off, your dad, uncle Nate and I took you out for barbecue. I accidentally squished your fingers between the high chair and the table and your dad accidentally gave you macaroni and cheese with a jalepeno pepper in it. At times like these, I'm glad you can't talk, because it keeps you from reporting us to the authorities.

Love,

Mom

Mystery Solved.

Dear Laney,

In case you ever lost any sleep up there in your crib, thinking to yourself, "Self, I wonder just how much of Ella's head could fit in a Tupperware container?"...

Wonder no more.

Love,

Mom

Sigh.

Dear Laney,

We've been working on your utensil skills, so I thought when we got home today that if I made you something that was super delicious, you would be motivated - nay, inspired! - to use your spoon.

Wrong.

Apparently, pudding is even tastier by the handful.

Mom vs. Pudding.

Advantage: Pudding.

Well played, pudding. Well played.

Love,

Mom

Grandpops and Grandma CC - The Visit, Day 6: Workin' Baby

Dear Laney,

All this week, you've been a great helper to your dad and Grandpops.

You've supervised the cutting of firewood, you've tested the wheels on Dad's bike after he added a new chain (they spin!), and yesterday, you even helped Grandma CC spread sand into the cracks between our new walkway pavers.

All of this manual labor reminds me of a joke I just made up:

Q: How can you tell when Grandpa Joe is on vacation?

A: You can't.

You don't seem to mind getting ridiculously dirty or crawling your way through one project or another. I'm sure there are a lot of professional contractors out there who need to have the peach jelly scraped out of their hair:

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Aunt Robyn!

Dear Robyn,

Happy Birthday! Here's your bucket o' baby.

Sorry we're sneaking this in at the end of the day, but it's been a full day of home improvement projects and other grandparent activities. Rest assured we've been thinking of you all day and hoping you're having a great birthday.

We love you!

Brooke, Thor & Laney

Janis Joplin and The Mysterious Case of the Murderous Molars

Dear Laney,

We got an e-mail this morning from reader Clay Mercer of Vienna, GA, wondering how we'd been sleeping lately. The question could not have been more timely, because the answer is:

We're not.

This past week, you've woken up every night at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am, etc. And when you wake up, you let forth this wail that's unlike anything I've ever heard. The closest comparison I can think of is that long shriek that Janis Joplin does at the end of "Piece of my Heart." You know, the one that sounds like she smoked three packs of cigarettes, took a shot of Jack and then tried to blow out her voice box. That's exactly what you sound like four times a night.

Goodnight, Cleveland, thanks for coming out.

We did some internet research this morning and discovered that the probable source of all our troubles is your one-year molars. Seems like you're teething in a big way, and it hurts all the way from your jaw up into your ears.

This morning, your dad put you in the car and drove you around the forest roads from 5am - 7am, just so you could get a little sleep. That's a good daddy you have, and you owe him some major gas money.

From what we've read, this should pass shortly. In the meantime, I am renaming our dogs "Big Brother" and "The Holding Company."

Love,

Mom

Grandpops and Grandma CC - The Visit, Day 4: Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Dear Laney,

Today was your Grandma CC's birthday, so we hit the town for some lunch and shopping:

Then, we met up with Uncle Nate and Auntie Brynn for dinner, and after dinner, we went to their house for cake.

You helped set the table, and you got to help blow out the candles.

You also got to climb the newly-carpeted stairs and play in the yard with Tess and Porter. It was such an action-paced day, full of Thai food and cake and grandparents and dogs and sweet potato fries and hardware stores that when we got home, you hit the bed sideways and were out like a light.

Love,

Mom

Grandpops and Grandma CC - The Visit, Day 3 - Sled Buildin' Day

Dear Laney,

Today, we all stayed home and worked on house projects. I planted some shrubs by the front door, painted the patio furniture and cleaned the house while your dad and granddad built you a sled.

Now, when your dad said he was going to build "a sled," I imagined something like a few boards nailed together, or at most, something shaped like a box with rails on it.

Oh, no.

When your dad said "a sled," he meant, "A sled that could be used in the Iditarod by a professional dog musher and 6-10 serious sled dogs." Eight hours later, the boys were still working on the sled but it sure looked like a piece of art.

Good thing you were on hand to supervise:

Congrats on the new sled.

Love,

Mom

Grandpops and Grandma CC - The Visit, Day 2

Dear Laney,

You had a great day with Grandpops today. He took you for a ride on the swing, and when we drove into town to run errands, he taught you that the overhead light in the car can be turned on and off, on and off, on and off as long as you think it's entertaining (approx 48 minutes).

Back at home, we all sat out around Dad's new fire pit, and Grandpops helped you master the art of unscrewing a soda bottle. Very helpful, Grandpops.

Here's something I've learned today about grandparenting: because grandparents never want to be The Bad Guy, you can always catch them saying things like, "You shouldn't put that bottle top in your mouth because your mom doesn't want you to," or "Your mom thinks you shouldn't climb out of the shopping cart." Hmph.

The dogs got to come out and enjoy the bonfire, too, but we had to take turns reminding Gus not to put his tail in the fire.

You and Ella had a meeting and decided that Gus may be the heart of the operation, but he's certainly not the brains.

Good day had by all.

Love,

Mom

Grandpops and Grandma CC - The Visit, Day 1

Dear Laney,

Your Missouri grandparents have come for a visit, and you couldn't be more excited. They're big fans of applauding small accomplishments, and they think everything you do is pretty funny. Just what you're looking for in an audience.

After they got in yesterday, you showed Grandma CC your new play fortress, and your collection of sockets. You even got to show off your birthday ratchet from Uncle Nate. Oh, didn't I tell you Uncle Nate got you a ratchet for your birthday? All the cool kids have one; you can find them at the toy store right between the blocks and the puzzles.

CC also got to play America's Favorite New Game Sensation: "DON'T EAT IT!"

I'm telling you - it's sweeping the nation.

Love,

Mom

Laney's To Do List

Dear Laney,

I can tell sometimes that inside that little blonde head of yours, you keep a running list of things you want to accomplish. For example, "Coat Living Room Floor With Macaroni And Cheese" (check) or "Wave Goodbye To Mom, Then Attempt To Hurl Myself Off The Deck" (close, but no cigar.)

Here is a collection of things that you can cross off that mental To Do list, because you've managed to get them all done in the past week or so:

Love,

Mom

Birthday Leftovers

Dear Laney,

The Other Brooke sent us some photos today that were on her camera, and I thought they were too cute not to share:

Love,

Mom

...And That's All I'm Going To Say About That

Dear Laney,

While most days you are the sunshine in my sky, the peach in my cobbler and the smile on my face, there are other days when every time I turn around, I see this:

Yesterday was one of those days. And that's all I'm going to say about that. Except to say that we got Peg Peg on the web cam and you were so ornery that she made a joke (I think it was a joke) about her plane ticket to see you this month being refundable.

Love,

Mom