Weekend in Spokane

Dear Laney,

We drove over to Spokane this weekend to visit with the Tetz side of the family. Grandma Sue watched you while your dad and I went out to dinner; as your dad likes to say, we get a date night every time there's an equinox or a solstice (i.e., once every three months, give or take).

You had a good time hanging out this weekend with your great-grandfather Ron and your great-aunt Nancy. I like this picture of you and Nancy because you have the same expression on your faces - one that suggests that you've decided to go beat someone up, and all that's left is to figure out the details.

This morning, we rode over to Steve and Margaret Ann Walser's house - they're old friends of your dad's and Grandma Sue's - and enjoyed sitting by the lake. I of course rubbed you down with sunscreen the very second we got there because I know if you ever got a sunburn, your Granny Jack would fly up here from Montgomery just to yell at me in person.

Then, it was off to the races. You had a great time splashing in the water, sitting in the sand, and moving the same piece of bark in and out of a sand bucket for hours. Bark in. Bark out. Bark in. Bark out.

After the swimming and playing, you celebrated a perfect afternoon with cheese and crackers that you graciously shared with the Walser's dog, Lucy.

Or, as you liked to call her, "Ella."

Love,

Mom

Happy Secret Anniversary To Your Mom And Dad

Dear Laney,

Two years ago, my friend Blake was wrapping up his visit with us here in Montana. Your dad and I were planning on getting married a few months later, but at that point we were just engaged. Blake left $50 in the console of our car as a "thank you" gift for his trip (which was totally unnecessary, but also very thoughtful).

A few days after Blake left, your dad and I were talking about how nice it would be if we were already married, so I could go ahead and get my Montana driver's license and register to vote in my married name.

we could start living happily ever after.

At 1pm on July 10 2008, we walked to the courthouse to ask about getting a marriage license, and they gave us one on the spot: $40. They only took cash, so I whipped out the $50 Blake had left us. I asked "How can we make this official?" and the woman behind the counter said the judge could perform the ceremony at 4pm.

Your dad called Nate and asked if he was doing anything after work...if not, Nate was welcome to come be a witness at our wedding. Actually, what your dad said was "Not much, what are YOU up to?" and then I had to remind your dad why he was calling Nate in the first place. Your dad is horrible on the phone, but that's a tirade for another day.

With 3 hours to kill before our appointment with the judge, we walked down the street and blew our last $10 on two burritos for lunch. Romance! Spontaneity! Salsa!

Nate met us at the Courthouse and we walked into Judge's chambers - I was wearing a sundress and flip flops. We didn't have rings. The whole thing took about five minutes. The judge said we were the highlight of her day, wished us luck, and waved goodbye.

So, as of tomorrow, your dad and I have officially been married for two years. The secret's out. Yay, us!

Love,

Mom

P.S. When you're older, you should ask Uncle Nate what it was like to call Peg Peg that afternoon and say "I was at the wedding - where were you?" I swear it's the closest a human woman has ever come to jumping through a phone line and beating someone with a stick.

We've Got A Lot On Our Plate

Dear Laney,

Your dad and I are very busy this week. The first few days of the week we had company, and now your dad has been going out in the field for work and I've been working on some big projects of my own.

But this afternoon, you and I ran into town to hit the bank, the post office, the craft store to pick up the framing stuff I ordered, the Target pharmacy (where we ran into Aunt Brynn and Uncle Nate), Staples (because Target was sold out of our printer toner), and Lowe's (because I HAD to buy something that will keep you from opening the screen door and jetting outside in 0.2 seconds flat).

Speaking of a lot on our plate, we also met Brynn and Nate for dinner at the barbecue place where you ate a peanut butter sandwich, half a corn muffin, three tablespoons of mashed potatoes and some of your uncle's fries. Now that I read that, we're going to have to give serious consideration to putting you on the Adkins Diet.

In last week's Newsweek, there was an article about sleep deprivation that suggested if an adult only gets 5 or 6 hours of sleep every night instead of the recommended 8 or 9, by the end of the week he or she will have the same cognitive ability as someone who has been awake for 48 hours straight. This is your dad and me ALL. THE. TIME. I tell you that statistic as a segue into this little story: Last week, I washed my cell phone in the washing machine. So today, I also had to buy a new cell phone. I bought the one labelled "Rugged" that's designed for use on construction sites. I figure the 3-ft radius around a 10-month old should qualify as a demolition area.

We ran out of time today to call Philip and be sure he made it home okay, but I'm guessing he's already back in his shop telling people how unbearably frigid Montana is - probably throwing in phrases like "arctic tundra" and "...but there was ice on the porch! In JULY!!" And probably to hear him tell it, our road is crawling with bears. OK, that part's true. And the ice on the porch thing? Also true. In any case, we hope he's home safe and sound and not still asleep on the shuttle to Warner Robbins.

Love,

Mom

Wow, What A Day!

Dear Laney,

What a whirlwind of fun today was! Your grandfather and I took you to lunch at Sean Kelly's pub, where you ate two potato skins. It probably won't win me any Mother Of The Year trophies to admit that I fed you deep-fried potatoes in a bar, but you sure had a good time.

After lunch, I took you to the Missoula Children's Museum. As a side note, those people have a lot of nerve calling that place a "museum" or having a sign leading to the "exhibits," when it's basically a few rooms filled with a hodgepodge of old toys. That being said, we had an AMAZING amount of fun. They had a playhouse for kids 2 and under, and with no hesitation you climbed up the stairs, crawled through the tunnel and threw yourself down the slide into the pile of pillows at the bottom. I couldn't believe it. Then, you sat up, shook yourself off and did it all over again. And again. Worth the price of admission.

There was another little girl there named "Ella," and her mother kept telling her to be careful or watch where she was going, and every time, you would yell "ELLA!" I'm sure this made you look like a child prodigy, instead of what you really are: a toddler who's obsessed with a dog.

After the museum, we met up with your dad and rode the carousel. Your grandfather tried to take pictures, but we later learned that the Missoula Carousel is one of the fastest carousels in the world. As a result, we have a hundred photos on the camera that are some variation of this:

As a last stop in town, we played on the grass in Caras Park, and your grandfather made one last-ditch effort to teach you to walk while he was here. No luck, but it might happen any day now.

Thanks for a great day!

Love,

Mom

Hiawatha!

Dear Laney,

Today, we drove over to the Hiawatha Trail for a bike ride.

According to your grandfather, this is how it went:

It was 32 miles of continuous uphill through two states. The road was a gravel blend that made biking in it feel like we were trying to power our wheels through sand. Throughout the day, the ominous grey skies above threatened to unleash their snowy fury. At one point, your grandfather disappeared into a railway tunnel, only to emerge with a broken and bleeding hand. He wouldn't give us all the details of his efforts to save a small child from the clutches of an angry moose in heat, but Philip emerged from the tunnel and the moose didn't. We passed entire families passed out from fatigue on the side of the trail. We helped when we could, but when we couldn't we slogged forward, onward and uphill. Always uphill. As the finish line approached, the skies finally opened and rained down hail. Hail. And with icy gravel filling the sky and rocky gravel weighing down our tires, we finally reached the car - weak in leg but strong in spirit.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Strangely enough, your dad and I were on the same trip, and enjoyed 16 miles of continuous downhill followed by a shuttle ride back uphill to our car. With stops for snacks. You were a sport all day - you loved riding in your new bike trailer. In fact, the only thing you liked more was riding in the shuttle bus back to the car. But the hail part was true.

Happy Fourth of July!

Dear Laney,

You and your grandfather spent a lot of time hanging out together in the backyard today, strolling around and napping and soaking up the sun (although he still hasn't taken off his winter coat). While you guys were enjoying the sun, I got to take a nap. A nap. On July 4th, 2010 at 11am, I got to take a nap.

To celebrate the 4th, your Uncle Nate and Aunt Brynn came over for dinner, and we all grilled out. Nate and Brynn brought their dogs - Tess and Porter - which was JUST what we needed: MORE dogs for you to fall in love with and let into the house for refreshments.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Everyone loved this dress.

This Is What You Do To People

Dear Laney,

Your grandfather Philip has only been in the house for a few hours, and already we have another image for a future photo montage of "grandparents who are so exhausted after one day with you that they pass out on the couch." Also included will be this classic from August 2009:

[NOTE: I only recycle this picture because it makes your grandmother nuts.]

Today I learned that grandparents can laugh when you throw everything you've been given to eat on the floor of PF Chang's, because they know they won't have to clean it up. They can laugh when you're obviously working on a world-class poop, because they won't be the ones to change you. I'm beginning to see the upside of this grandparenting business.

It is 60 degrees this evening in Alberton, and your grandfather Philip is wearing his long pants and a winter coat while wrapped in a blanket. I hope when you grow up, you make fun of him for this. In the meantime, I'll do my part by publishing it to the blog.

Love,

Mom

A Record-Setting July

Dear Laney,

Last July 4th in Coney Island, a man named Joey Chestnut won the Nathan's Famous Hotdog-Eating Contest when he ate 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

For us, this is going to be a record-setting July - not for hotdogs, but for visits with family and friends. And while we might not hit 68, our overall number promises to be impressive. We also have less of a chance of falling over from a heart attack than poor Mr. Chestnut.

On Friday, we visited with the Morenos, and then we set off for Spokane for a visit with Grandma Sue, Erik and his daughter Lisa. When we got to their house, we were pleasantly surprised to meet Lisa's dog, Hemi. This is a picture of you being caught red-handed, feeding Hemi vanilla ice cream...you know, something neither one of you is supposed to eat. This is one of those rare occasions when two wrongs really do make a right.

Love,

Mom

Hands Up! It's A Moreno Drive-By!

Dear Laney,

Today, we had a really quick visit from Amy and Julia and Christian (you know, that family you want to run away and join), and Amy brought along her mom Carol, and her niece Kara, who lives here in Missoula.

We need to hurry up and book Kara for some babysitting gigs before she changes her mind.

The kids got to play with you, and Ella and Gus. I wish I could say the dogs were well-behaved, but instead they acted like THEY HAD NEVER SEEN ANOTHER HUMAN BEING BEFORE EVER.

I hate that the visit was so short, but maybe we can see them again before they head back to California.

Love,

Mom

P.S. That top photo is Julia trying to keep her piece of cheese from you. It seems she underestimated your love for cheese.

Hey, Pizza Face

Dear Laney,

I could watch you eat all day.

Love,

Mom

You And The Dogs: An Intervention

Dear Laney,

Your love for the dogs knows no bounds. Your desire to crawl outside and poke them, pet them, put your hand in their water bucket and put their food bowls on your head is constant.

You spend a lot of your time standing at the back window, banging on the glass and yelling "ELLA!" It's just like that scene in "The Graduate," a movie you shouldn't see until you're in high school.

Today, you ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then crawled outside to pet Gus. Because you were mixing sticky jelly with a husky in prime shedding season, it only took about two minutes for your hands to look like they were sporting mittens. You got mad at me when I had to hose you off, but I'm starting to worry you're going to end up coughing up a hairball.

Tonight, I was driving us home from dinner, when I could hear your little voice coming from the car seat, whispering "Ella...Ella...Ella..."

Enough already with the dog love.

Or maybe I'm just jealous.

Love,

Mom

It's Molly Time!

Dear Laney,

This afternoon, we stopped by Virginia and Molly's house for a little play time.

You played with Molly's maraca. Molly drank your juice.

Molly played with your maraca. You drank Molly's juice.

You both get an A for sharing.

And at the end of the day, Molly offered to drive us home.

Those Tyrees are full service.

Love,

Mom

A Brief Intermission

Dear Laney,

Sorry there haven't been any new letters in the past few days, but things have been busy around here. Yesterday, your dad came down with a bad stomach bug that may or may not have been some kind of food poisoning, and he's been laid up on the couch for the past 36 hours.

Today, to get out of the house, you and I took a stroll down to check our mail, where I was bitten by the belligerent neighbor's crazy dog. We exchanged words, and once again I was reminded of the primal response that occurs within a mother when she feels her baby is threatened. It's like in the nature films when a mother bear is able to rip apart a van. If I were a bear, and this woman a Chrysler, she would be a few hubcaps short, is all I'm saying.

In between bringing your dad plenty of fluids and calling the police to report the dog thing, we've been too busy to blog.

Here's hoping this week takes a turn for the better.

Love,

Mom

Tasty Saturday

Dear Laney,

This afternoon, we went on a little fishing excursion, or - as you seem to consider these trips - Laney's Outdoor Smorgasbord Of Super Snacks And Tasty Treats.

Your dad wanted to try out his new fly rod. I'm sure at this point it goes without saying that he didn't catch anything. But you and I had a good time eating lunch and organizing the rocks and kicking in the sand and splashing in the water...and then you made an executive decision about where we should store your dad's slice of pizza while we waited on him to join us:

If you won't tell him, I won't.

Love,

Mom

P.S. I know I said that last night was as dirty as you've ever been, but I think you topped it with today's perfect storm of pizza, strawberries and river mud.

Good job, Laney bug.

Dinner At Cedar's Place

Dear Laney,

Last night, we went over to Brooke and Todd's house for dinner. We had a great time hanging out with them, and you seemed particularly interested in talking to their baby, Cedar. I think if some stranger was trying to climb up in the bassinet with me, I'd have the same look on my face that Cedar does:

I'm glad you wore your sturdy jeans, because last night you got just about as dirty as you've ever been. First, you ate heaping globs of guacamole, then you went crawling through Brooke and Todd's garden trying to catch up to their cat, Orangey. It was fun to watch you explore, even if I had to keep reminding you not to eat the grass.

After dinner, the adults played cards and you sat on my lap and dozed in and out of consciousness, refusing to officially go to sleep. Even when your eyes were rolling back in your head, you refused to be set down. What can I say? You like a good party.

Love,

Mom