Yesterday, we went to Costco to buy three items: milk, eggs, dog food. An hour and $200 bucks later, we were on our way out of store. As we approached The Guy Who Pretends To Check Your Receipt Before Swiping It With A Highlighter (his official title), I realized that you were smuggling a foam book about animals in your part of the buggy.
So I asked The Guy to check our receipt to see if we had paid for the book, which of course we hadn't. I would have just left it there in the store, but you had cleverly already removed the plastic wrapping, so the only right thing to do was to buy the dang book. So we got BACK in line, waited our turn and bought the book.
As you were going through the check-out line for the second time, you hit it off with The Lady Who Crams All Of Your Purchases Into Boxes. She said "Laney, you're too young for a life of crime!" which you thought was HILARIOUS, and then she said "Seriously, you don't want to go down that road..." which you thought was HYSTERICAL.
But the lady's right: Shoplifting is wrong, because it's morally reprehensible and it irritates your mother. You can decide which of those is the bigger deal.
In other Costco news, we came home with a bell pepper box which has become Laney's Official World Headquarters.
I don't know what it is about this box, but you've spent most of yesterday and today sitting in it. And yes, ANIMALS is the book that we bought yesterday, so I hope you're enjoying it. You owe me $6.
Love,
Mom
You say "morally reprehesible and it irritates your mother" as if it's an 'either/or' connundrum. When viewed from a certain perspective, it's a win-win situation all around. And if you're shoplifting food, it's also fattening, making it the trifecta of crimes.
ReplyDeleteAdmit it, you know it's ME....