Your dad is out of town tonight - he's off saving the galaxy measuring water somewhere - and you didn't have school today, so it's been just you and me all day & night. Once again, I am awed and amazed by successful single mothers everywhere.
I knew there was going to come a time when you would question every decision or request I made, but I didn't think it would start at 23 months. Everything I ask you to do - or not do - is met with "WHY?!?" I don't think you really care about my answer, because you seem perfectly content when I respond with something like, "Why? Because if it were 60 years ago and you kept doing that, my great-grandmother Genie Mae would make you bring her a stick so she could beat you with it."
Examples from today:
Mom: Laney, please don't get up on the coffee table.
Laney: Why?!?
Mom: Because it's my job as your mother to keep you from dancing on tables indefinitely.
Mom: Laney, don't put that dog bowl on your head.
Laney:Why?!?
Mom: Because even Ella thinks it's a bad idea and she eats bugs for fun.
Mom: Laney, do NOT start another episode of Dora.
Laney:WHY?!?
Mom: Because Mama's pregnant and not allowed to relieve herself with prescription medications.
Mom: Laney, as God is my witness, I will put you to bed right now if you get into that dog bucket.
Laney: Why?!?
Mom: Because first you brushed Gus with the BBQ grill scrubber, then you used it to stir that water, so Lord only knows what's floating in it. And you've already had two baths today - one to recover from the stickiness of the two popsicles you threw a fit to have, and one to recover from the ensuing poop that created its own load of laundry. If I have to give you a third bath today, I will lose my cool and go hide in my closet with the lights off and the door closed 'til it's time to take you to school tomorrow.
Laney: Why?
We miss you, Thor!
Love,
Mom
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