Two Christmases ago, our friends (and soon-to-be-marrieds) Will and Lindsay sent you a teddy bear. I will confess that at four months old, you didn't really care about it, so I threw it in a bin with your other stuffed animals and forgot it existed after writing the Mandatory Southern Thank-You Note so we wouldn't get sent to Ingrate Hell*.
A few weeks ago, we were cleaning out your room and you rediscovered the bear. You have not put him down since. When I ask you what we should call him, you always sigh and with an implied "duh," say, "Bear." Riding this train of thought to its logical conclusion, we'll be naming our next child, "Baby." Sure, things might become uncomfortable for Baby Burbach in junior high school, but if he really hates it, I guess he can have it legally changed on his own time; your dad and I are notorious haters of paperwork.
Most recently, you've decided that - when in a moving vehicle - the bear should ride in a car seat. You like to practice buckling him in and announcing, "So we be safe!," which you learned from Dora.
Last night, after swim class, we went out for pizza with Cedar and her mom. You decided that, for his safety, Bear should be buckled in to a five-point harness. "But where will you ride?" I asked. You pointed to the empty seat next to the car seat. "No," I explained, "Laney needs to ride in the car seat." This is when you started screaming "BEAR FIRST!!" I'm familiar with the notion of "Women and children first," but "Bear first," was a new one for me.
I obviously didn't do a very good job of patiently explaining that I don't give two s#!*s about what happens to that bear in case of an accident, because you threw yourself down on the concrete in protest.
My grandmother has two versions of what she calls "The List." If you're on the first version, you get cookies and carry-out meals and she irons your clothes. If you're on the second, there's a "S#!*" implied in the title, and all you get is a raised eyebrow and possibly crossed off the prayer list. You can guess which version of my List that bear is currently on.
Bear made it into the morning carpool, and I hope he's having a good time with you at school today.
Love,
Mom
* Located 2 miles beneath Newark.
The "but if he really hates it, I guess he can have it legally changed on his own time" was used by Thor's dad to describe Thor's name and lack of a middle name. Clearly, the paperwork was too large even in an earlier time.
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