Dear Laney,Because your birth didn't go exactly according to plan, we ended up incurring some medical expenses that we hadn't really counted on. In the end, even with our insurance, you ended up costing us $818/pound. Considerably more than a Thanksgiving turkey, but less than Beluga caviar.
I mentioned to my friend Brian at lunch the other day that I was about to send in my 25th and final payment on your hospital bill, and he said, "Great - you can finally take her off layaway." And then, like a dream sequence in a sitcom - the ones with the cloudy borders and harp music - I thought how much easier parenting would be if only you could keep your infant stashed in that sketchy back room at TJ Maxx, awaiting pick up.
We're glad you're ours, free and clear, but I hope this isn't going to be one of these situations where you send in the last car payment and those mysterious dashboard warning lights start popping on.
Love,
Mom
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