Big Girl Bed

Dear Laney,

Since your brother's going to be here in a little less than four months, and is going to need a place to sleep, we decided to promote you from the crib to your own big girl bed. This is because you demonstrate such remarkable maturity for your age, and not at all because we're low on furniture options. Ahem.

The highlight of using a crib is that it also functions as Baby Jail! a contained environment. Now that you're in the big girl bed, there's nothing to stop you from getting right back out of bed and coming downstairs - like, "That bedtime story was great and all, Dad, but now let's break out the beer and jam to some Barney songs." More unsettling is when - at 4:56am - I am jerked awake by someone poking my head and yelling HI, MOM!!

Next on our agenda: Teach an otherwise brilliant toddler the concept of a "psychological barrier."

What's happened just about every night since we made the change is this: You wake up in the middle of the night and start shouting. Your dad goes upstairs to convince you that everything's okay, and you really need to stay in bed. But since your dad was trained by the Navy to fall asleep on a noisy aircraft carrier in 3-2-1!, what actually happens is that he lies down with you in that little twin bed and immediately begins snoring.* You seem to find sleeping with a large, furry, noisy dude reassuring, so I go upstairs in the morning and fetch you both for breakfast.

Obviously, this system needs work.

Love,

Mom

* Your dad and I have had more than one domestic dispute when he's started a conversation by saying, "No, really, I'd love to talk about your feelingssZZZZzzzzzzzzz...."