Dear Laney,
A few years ago, your dad joined facebook, only to have his account hacked. All of his friends received a message that your dad had been kidnapped and taken to London, and if we each chipped in $200, the kidnappers would let him go. Like me, most of his friends figured he might enjoy a British getaway, and no one coughed up any money. Besides, flying to England from Boonieville, Montana probably takes a day and a half, and I had seen the man at breakfast.
As a general life rule, it's good to have a calm response when presented with a crisis situation which may or may not be real. Grandma Sue seems to have a firm grasp on this rule, since she didn't alert the authorities when you called her last night to inform her that you were being pursued by bears who (it was rumored) wanted to eat you.
What I especially love about this conversation is that you took the time to ask her about HER day, and to have some small talk about your Dora panties, before dropping the bomb about the bears. In the newspaper business, that's called "burying your lead."
So just a note to any/everyone that Laney might reach by hitting "redial" on our phone: We do not have bears in our house. At least not in the winter. Remain calm.
Love,
Mom
I'm glad to see that the childhood faith that hiding under the covers will protect your from all evil still exists, even in the wilds of Montana.
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