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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What You Learned At Swim Class (Hint: Has Nothing To Do With Swimming)


Dear Laney,

About a month ago, we got a "report card" in the mail from your swim instructor. Befitting her personality, it featured multiple colors of marker and excessive use of exclamation points.


I don't know what bugged me about this - probably that we had already moved on from the swim class experience, and I didn't need someone to send me a multi-hued reminder that you refuse to get your face wet or blow bubbles. This is still true, by the way, even though we always practice in the bath tub. No, you prefer to lick the bathwater, even right after confessing, "I just tee tee 'gain."

So, what did you learn in swim class, if not the basics of swimming? Answer: You learned an unconditional love of running/jumping/splashing in a circle to "Ring Around The Rosie." And what's the last thing a hugely pregnant woman wants to do? Answer: Run around in a teeny tiny circle while bending over to hold your hands and then being forced to "fall down." Because the only thing worse than falling down these days is having to get back up. I'm like the fallen best friend in every shoot-'em-up movie... yelling "Leave me! Go on without me!" from the living room rug.

Not for the first time, I've found myself saying, "Thank God for Cedar." It seems she developed the same love of "Ring Around The Rosie" that you did, only she calls the song "Ashy Ashy." And she seems happy to run around in a circle with you all day long, even though you 'bout- near give her whiplash every time y'all do it.


Here's the two of you in ashy ashy action:


Say what you will about Cedar, girlfriend is supportive.

A final note about that report card: You are so hard-headed, it wouldn't surprise me if you grew up to swim the English Channel without once in twenty-one miles putting your face in the water. Just in case, I will save this progress report as a potential illustration for the New York Times piece.

Love,
Mom

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