Get Into My Dreams. Get Out Of My Car.

Dear Laney,

Cedar's parents had some important meetings in town today, so Cedar got to spend a few hours at our house. At first I was concerned, because Cedar's parents are worldly, educated people who grow their own organic produce and listen to NPR on purpose. At our house, we watch the CMT Country Countdown while eating Cheerios out of the box. But what the hey, I figured - it's not like we could ruin a child in one afternoon, right?

(I'm declining to show the photos I took of Cedar

eating gravy with a spoon, spritzing her hair with

Aqua Net and trying to mimic the sassy dance

moves of the Hee Haw Honeys.*)

While you can hoover a fudgesicle in ten seconds or less, Cedar took a more measured approach, really savoring that frozen treat for ten minutes or so. You gave her the same look Ella would give me if I went out on the back deck, sat down next to her, and started licking a ham.

All kidding aside, it was an educational afternoon for me, because I learned that I could actually have two children in the same house at the same time without my head exploding. This was a great relief to me, because lately I've been wondering how I'm going to function once your sibling arrives. You and Cedar entertained each other and had a great time. This is not to say you were the consummate hostess, because you did have two time-outs for snatching things away from Cedar and pushing her. And when you thought Cedar had overstayed her welcome in your car, you demanded, "Get outta car, Cedah."

That moment was probably time-out-worthy, too, but I was too busy trying to figure out where you'd picked up that phrase, i.e. who has ever ordered you out of a motor vehicle?

To her parents, we apologize for any hardships she might have suffered while under our supervision. And just in case, we're also sorry if she wakes up tomorrow and asks you to tease her bangs and crank the Allmann Brothers.

Love,

Mom

* None of this is true, although I do own Hee Haw on DVD, so it's not outside the realm of possibility.