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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Janis Joplin and The Mysterious Case of the Murderous Molars


Dear Laney,

We got an e-mail this morning from reader Clay Mercer of Vienna, GA, wondering how we'd been sleeping lately. The question could not have been more timely, because the answer is:

We're not.

This past week, you've woken up every night at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am, etc. And when you wake up, you let forth this wail that's unlike anything I've ever heard. The closest comparison I can think of is that long shriek that Janis Joplin does at the end of "Piece of my Heart." You know, the one that sounds like she smoked three packs of cigarettes, took a shot of Jack and then tried to blow out her voice box. That's exactly what you sound like four times a night.

Goodnight, Cleveland, thanks for coming out.

We did some internet research this morning and discovered that the probable source of all our troubles is your one-year molars. Seems like you're teething in a big way, and it hurts all the way from your jaw up into your ears.

This morning, your dad put you in the car and drove you around the forest roads from 5am - 7am, just so you could get a little sleep. That's a good daddy you have, and you owe him some major gas money.

From what we've read, this should pass shortly. In the meantime, I am renaming our dogs "Big Brother" and "The Holding Company."

Love,
Mom


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